First Epistle of Lucia to Her Old Boyfriends

Not infrequently I find myself wondering which of you

are dead

now that it’s been so long since I have had a boyfriend
for whom this wonder would be a somewhat milder

version of

the way our actual parting went—i.e., with me not wondering
but outright wishing that an outright lightning bolt
would sail sharply into your thick heads.


Can I plead youth now over malign intent?
And does my moral fiber matter anyhow
since I have not gone forth and et cetera’d—
i.e., doesn’t my absent children’s nondepletion of the ozone layer
give me some atmospheric exchange credits under the

Kyoto Protocol

to release the fluorocarbons of these unkind thoughts?
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