My Thanksgiving Procedure

My name is Underdog. You may remember I had a Saturday-morning cartoon show back in the ’60s. I was big. I was physically small, especially on the TV sets of the time, but I was big in Show Biz terms. Now I’m physically large, but I’m basically a Show Biz has-been. Back then, there were Underdog comic books, Underdog lunch boxes, Underdog watches, you name it.

Eventually, however, the show got canceled. I was devastated. My girlfriend, Sweet Polly Purebred, dumped me and started dating George of the Jungle. I began hitting the bottle pretty hard, and I wallowed in self-pity for over a year.