Oh Alethea, I laughed with recognition. I wept bitter tears of recognition. My tears of gratitude are still flowing. You have captured the essence of my journey, along with so many of its specifics that I can hardly believe we live half an earth apart.
"The unsick wear their good health so cavalierly. It’s as if they possessed the most exquisite gift—an ermine cloak studded with magic gems—and they just drag it about, wipe their sweat with it. You used to do the same thing." It's so true. And they look at you from the safety of their perfectly functioning bodies and offer the profound confidence in healing that only a healthy person can feel.
Thank you for this gift of compassion.
Such a lovely, sad and wonderful piece of story! Someone who suffered a chronic undiagnosed and unexplained ailment, trying hard to explain and yet trying to find hope!! I ended up crying this story.
This could have been me, except if I had anything to lose in the first place then it was truly lost on me. Also, I never went down the 'alternative' route fully trusting in the power of officially sanctioned medication as I was, and I did get some relief towards the end.
Ironically enough this relief set in motion a train of events which saw me introduced to the actual proper treatment for the Mauve (and a new paradigm in brain disorders) and the realisation that when Wikipedia et al speak of quackery, it ain't necessarily so.
Being so very sick and having everyone tell you that you are fine is a curse worse than death. There are a lot of people, including me, having life sucked away by invisible illnesses. This story beautifully describes it.
A beautiful-sad story. I am sorry you have suffered so. Thinking of you.
I think about this story a lot.