As I read this short story I became enmeshed in the visuals. Your description of the environment was superb! I would truly like to see where his future is going. Was this based on experience? Yes, you have described your character's feelings, however, can you delve deeper into his past? Perhaps give the reader a touch of character history?
Great job and depressing as hell! Thanks for the story.
Just superb, Wayne. Don't change a word. Is this Chapter 1 of something longer? It sure could be.
I agree with James. I've already connected with the narrator and want to know how he can get through more of his life, and I care. What a wonderful compliment for a story. And yes, it is depressing, but because we've met someone with plenty of redeeming qualities, we hope things can get better. A welcome change from nothing but antiheroes.
My favorite line: "Someone had taught her to do this." I wonder if all divorced people watch themselves and others like this?
Incredibly good story. The narrator slowly starts seeing scary connections between his new divorced life and that of his cons. I could feel his inner horizons expanding and I'm thinking it could go two ways. Either way, he'll become more empathetic with their sad ways, or he'll become so close he gets scared and has to leave that job. It's fascinating how you've made us speculate.
Well crafted. Can easily stand alone or could be the opening chapter of a novel I'd want to read. What are your plans?
It is a truly interesting story, well written. I like how it exposes the conflict of our values when we enter the uncertainty of new relationships. Especially, when our wounds are so fresh from an unrequited relationship.