A Story

by Yuvi Zalkow
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Nice read. Well written. We have all whispered a name before, over and over, like a prayer.

Really enjoyed your story. I got lost in it, like I was the bird in the wings, watching, listening.

I read it twice, at first wanting more but the second time realizing how much I had gotten.

An interesting perspective from the second person singular; really pulls you into the piece.

Thank you for this lovely story so thoughtful and well-done. I feel for the guy, the girl, and the child. I'm used to having it all given to me quickly but have to think and consider the possibilities here. Your style inspires.

I enjoyed the voice in this story and the little world it created. It was very poetic, a little surreal, and yet within the span of this short narrative I became a believer.

Beautiful! I agree with Valerie, above, that I wanted to know more. Fact is I still do. Where it's nice to be left with all the possibilities, your skill in the telling cries to me to want your one truth in how it plays out.

Lovely. I want to find out what happens with Blue and the man with no name and Blue's son (if she has a son). Good read.

The second person narrator is . . . typically such a tough point of view to make likable . . . but it is done so well here. The distance in which the "you" means "me" in the story is complemented with lines such as ". . . a man as nervous as you are should accept all the guardrails that he can get." . . . And the last paragraph gives the two characters a future and doesn't use more words than needed. Very very impressive and intensely enjoyable. Well Done!

I find this story fluid, present, and so internal you can feel it pulsing against the back of your forehead! I love it. I really appreciate the inescapable, human quality of the last line: "you don’t think about how much more complicated this will all soon become." Thank you for this story.